Do you want to know what temptation God offered me when I was innocent?

 And was if I want a wife? Not a woman or a prostitute, but exactly a wife. You know that the first marriage was a contract with the demon. He erased my brain to I forgot my importance, or the temptation never would make me had doubts about. I got so sad, I thought that I had to accept, that all the souls was sold, and I start to think in what I really wanted in the deep of my soul, if one day I wish something, if one day I had dreams, what was, I thought that was a kind os death, that everybody was without soul in the ceremony. I said that what I always wanted was have a family a father a mother. He said that the answer was wrong, but I will have, and didn't born, people married with 6 the two, lived in woods parents abandon them like some animals, parents was something very bad. So the marriage was a way of felt any thing, they was more animals them animals. See I didn't say no directly because I was afraid of not accept the offer of a bad God. 

People suffer becasue they suffer when I was that singer that came from Africa, I write my books, so sad noboy find this or anything, and I care so much of that 2 kids to don't be erased, people don't have heart, in my descendency probably had so much medicocre people and that money don't feed even those ones, I want to be remembered.... I was famous, my past changed I suicide myself to their father don't return home and got my fortune from our kids, I was a mother that suicide herself to the sons had money, respect me.

So people suffer and I don't know understand why, one of my last books was, about if I never went away from my city, mym love would be one boy of my city, and I would think that was my real love, that would never miss another person, that I was desapointed, that I ha so sadness, my books was all them sad. And would had happy, this is the true? Maybe this was the true, had a boy of my city marry him and live forever happy. Had who felt sad for it, who understand, even do'nt love me, sometimes I think how money is important, make us even in love for money, a gold lay so perfect. People send me to hell but cry because of my books, my speech was kind rotten, but my books was a paint of my soul, is when I real was saint, my discourse was of a sadist Afrikan an I don't understand, people is smashed an learn to smash, people are ruined an lear to ruin.

Rute Bezerra de Menezes Gondim