No rpoblem she preferre the soul of Beauty to that soul that is the legs of the rich man, if she received legs because is easier Beauty prefer me, legs aren't in love for nobody, so she can't be your eternal love if she are only legs, she even had lives imagine be your bigger love. How legs could in the past love you? I know Beauty because she really wanted me for many lives she was an older woman married with a very older man, I never wanted because I never wanted a married woman. I really had pitty of her, she probably never had before be with a man with a young body, she had once a fair with one son, one that me an the mother thought why do'nt kill a son, with 20 he was so old. Bold, with the body of a man over 70 years old.
And one that the guide do that was one of the reasons that I sent him away. I passes all time without eating, was more than a week, I felt no hunger, I didn't felt no tristy. The Wallys said me to drink of the shower the tap of the basin was wrong, and the water was very sweet. When people came to carry me, I thought that I had the same weight, that I ddin't had lose a pound. So after when I returned of the kidnap, the guide sai to I eat, and one day that after crap I was to clean my ass, I notice that I had got so fat that I was with difficult of do that alone, I got so mad with that guide. The guide that was need that one moment I would be helped for the mother or father to clean the ass, I said that I don't cooperate anymore, you think that I let you do that with me, look for someone else.
I remember another, of the beginning of the captivity, was they broken own form the apartment above, the toillete sit really doesn't worked the guide was saying that they were breaking, that I would came out of the bedroom because also that, I saw in my imagination, a white man taught that his desire was because one day he wanted me because he making a work for my father see me at home.
I didn't need the latrine. But before the kidnap the guide say to me to use, that my feces he burn to be ashes, and was, the shit when I made was ashes.
And yesterday after I returned sleep, I write but I had to took out the article, I had one of that dreams that is like be awake. I was walking by the streets, and I was in a moment in road of something that appear with a school, was illuminated, but a yellow light, the light was light pools, but one moment the sidewalk was sand, and I notice that I was walking for a poor place dark, I got scared why I was walking at night, someone was carrying me. I thought I came of that side I have to return, I listen a voice if you need be fast why don't you fly, and I elevated, but I was flying in any direction, was very unpleasant, I lost the touch of my feet, and I was going in the right direction but I wasn't controlling, I was feeling vertigo, in one moment I was being turned, my belly was to up, so I was flying with the backs to the floor. Wasn't the first time that in my dreams my flight was in any direction, once I thought that I would ie because I was raising in one direction, and my friends went after my father, because one moment I tried very much stops, but I was making force to stop to raise more, my father came with a stepladder and fit me in the middle of the steps, and carried the ladder with me inserted between the two steps.
So the yesterday dream, after fly, turn again to conscious, and I was in the home, an apartment of a thin blond lady, had a lot of people there and she was saying that father was grandfather again I ran away because I notice that wasn't my family. And I returned my conscious again I was at the home of another person, was a house and I was in his be and he was lying over me saying that now I know that he was fat I can't see much of him just that he was more swarthy than me. And I return.
Rute Bezerra de Menezes Gondim
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