This hand isn't in my past

And was when I was the Marcelo, a girl from African that in the DNA test had a Y, and I went to Europe because my grandfather wanted to raise me, because his sons because a witchcraft of his wife carried 2 Xs and the daughter was who carried his Y. When I was 9 years old, have an experiment in Europe that was a sterile could have kids, so the one of the couple that was sterile would donate a cell from any part of the body to make a baby and the other a gamete, how I was very young and my grandfather wanted to me to be father and not mother ask me if I  wanted to make that experiment and be a father, the mother was his niece, she had 25 years old and was single and brunette, also poor and ugly, I wanted that experiment worked so I said that could take the cell from my medulla of the column, the pain... The baby when born for incredible was blond with green or blue eyes, he was only that with a skin a little yellow, the mother my cousin I don't know why passed to say that wasn't his mother and her skin was darker than his. Have times that I said for who wanted to know from where he came that I was his mother, maybe I was afraid of someone took the baby away, have other times that I said that I was the nanny to be always at his side and nobody think that he was a son of an African. One day that my cousin was being nice she wanted to have the baby some days with her, and he was kidnapped, I got so sad, my grandfather was very rich but at that time they asked for rescue money but even this way many times the criminals killed the kidnapped even with the family paying money for the return, I run from home to try find my baby, he was 3 years old, I remember so little of the jungle of my country, they were hide in the forest and the police said that would take weeks to find them. I achieve to find them the dark covered me, I entered in their house at the night and beheaded all the 3 they were sleeping, but I wanted to much to revenge to be a girl trying to find his baby, that if wasn't of afraid of the end of the World I would cut off the hand of the last, so I put my son in my back and returned home. One day I died, and was a shoot in the heart, the fire guns at that time make a big hole, so I would never survive a shot in the heart, so I saw that I would die, I was happy because I was a flea, but my kid grew and didn't need me anymore, so I smiled. I knew just days before the man that shoot me. He came from another country he used to make draws of me because I was black, wasn't offensive, but was a little depreciative because the girl of the draws have all that ugly things that people concepts about black people, he didn't knew me he was drawing a black that in nothing match me, the hair was kinky, the draw was very black, the eye was ugly, the lips 'beiços', and because I save my son she was dressed in panties, he came from train to see me I didn't know why, he came violent to talk with me that I thought that in his country they talk of one way with blacks and other with whites, he held my arm, maybe was the use with blacks for the people from his coutry, and he got possessed because my eyes were blues, green would be more beautiful for my dark skin but were blues, he got a madness because blue wasn't colour of eyes for blacks, I think he killed me because of the colour of my eyes, he said that can't exists a black with blue eyes,  he appear be homosexual, so one of the things that I thought before die seeing him that an homosexual very racist killed me. Rute Bezerra de Menezes Gondim

Ps.: I was very polite I didn't want trouble with the people from Europe, no matter what the race he was, for me was one race and white races was in their mind, I answer when he started drawing his character that the character didn't match with my appearance, I didn't wanted that he be fooled and countinue to draw a character about me without knew that the character was different from me, I liked a molecagem but fool someone I enver like even the idea.