What the advantage?

If we can we only born for the wonder, to see the magic to be special even is to only one person, I am here just to see the train passes if I am not seeing somenthing special happens, sometimes I wanted to lie to say that I have someone in my life, you know that person that doesn't like me because I am brazillian and one time that I listen he in my mind he said that he had venerea, a long time ago he also said that I suppose to find a mullato and have kids with him because I probably was mullata. I thought that he was so rude and wasn't realize my age, I was 14 years old I answer that I would look for I was meaning that I would take 10 years to find, and if we wasn't suitble wasn't he to say what I deserve, so I am not homossexual, but date only becasue people said to we have to do it isn't my plan I am very cooperative but not in this subject.  So I never had a baby, isn't right someone imagine a life with that family, I don't talk about them because they don't exist. I think that everybody have the right of have childreen so I would never hide that, I talk about my parents because they exist. Now being brazillian I am seeing that nobody think that you are special, when I was that nun that German almost make me lost an ovariun of so much stick a needle to make kids of me and he in her older girlfriends, he got the enought to make 40 pregnant German women, they was of his age over 40 years old. I just accepted because he was special for me, who want so much kids? 40, at least they borned in the same year, or I would not accepted. Even being a Mexican I didin't have 500 sons in Europe? But I had 5 kids on Europe being a young man from Rio de Janeiro, I complaint with my father that Europe was so special that we can't even think on visit them, when I was 25 years old my father pay me a travel to Europe I was Jew from Brazil, 5 girls love my style and want to me to pregnant them, so I dated till return to Brazil 5 European girls, and after they send me letters to say about the pregnancies, when I knew that the last one borned I delibaretelly fall back to hit the head in a rock because was my deep diseree, so I died if 25 years old, I even don't know what my family felt. Is care to much for who doesn't deserve, so the attention is so special for one side, special is someone that is important in your life. Rute Bezerra de Menezes Gondim